oh Sleep, Where Art Thou Once Again
It’s four am I cannot sleep I cannot think, I cannot weep There is no heaviness in my lids No sleepy sand, which to get rid I sit here wanting, needing sleep…
The Purple Elephant
It all started with a purple elephant. I kid you not, a purple elephant. He was staring me straight in the eyes, and I thought, “Why are you an elephant?” I…
Forked
It is a ladle odd to spoon with a knife that couldn’t carve with any care on the plate you two do share. If it is spare-rib or steak or caribou, you prong a…
You.
If I could pinpoint the exact moment that I was certain of you I would do so in the most beautifully thought out manner. Every word and gesture thought out to…
The Proof Is In The Pants
What if, Perchance, The plaintiff, Sir Pants, Caught the defendants, Sir Pull, Mrs. Miserable, and Maestro Throw All hurling his purple girdle in a photo…
Ficly
Ficly. Ficly Ficly Ficly. Don’t Ficly sickly, Ficly quickly! Ficly.
Self-Referential Doggerel P.S.
My poems are silly, not hard to compose Rhyming is easy; there are plenty enough Words I can shoehorn wherever they’ll go That finding a good one is never too…
Self-Referential Doggerel
Does anyone really read Ficly for poems? They’re easy to write, but so hard to sequel. There are plenty of rhymes, if you only but know ‘em But not every poem…
The Blacksmith's Auto-Biography Part I
Steven Ross Smith (3rd Sept 1989 - 19th July 5049) was an actor turned time-traveller/hockey player. He lost his twelth eye during the Great Boobagilon War of…
Serious Questions and Serious Sayings
Saliva must taste like nothing. Also What if microphones could talk into *our* mouths? Also What if you saw a sea of souls see-saw Violently like waves in a…
Pun Poem Just For Fun Poem
Be great. lyrically lacerate. Fully incapacitate hate With all of love’s hug weight (And love is a big sassy black woman).
Imagine!
Imagine shoes that look like socks That wash like socks With mesh lining on top covered by sock material socks Made of flexible, durable rubber that rolls on…
Found: Positive Concept
Found: Positive Concept / Answers to “Nate” / If yours, please call / 555-1648
Positive Concept Found!
Oh, a positive concept Oh, what luck! Just laying on the floor... err... It seems to be stuck? I lift with all my might Wait? Something is not right. This is…
hmmmm? sorry??
Death sat astride his pitch black steed & stared out over his domain, absently sharpening his scythe. “Why is it,” He said to War, who was busy doing…
mr.outspan goes shopping...
clipclopclipclopclipclopclipclopclipclopclipclopclipclopclipclopclipclop.etc.etc. splash “Drat.” clipclopclipclopclipclopclipclopclipclopclipclopclipclop.etc.et…
Writing Class with Mr. Stitely
“How do you open a door creatively?” Mr. Stitely asked looking over the top of his glasses. Hands shot up in the air. Well... gingerly moved upward, but the…
64
From a distance, it is a monolithic mountain suspended in an infinite whiteness. Its peaks penetrate no clouds and its base floats above an abyss. It is a…
My Life as a Psych[ot]ic 04-12-09.b
Quite suddenly and without warning, I was accosted from the right, a large wet nose sniffing its way toward my vittles via my ear. Taken aback, I turned to…
My Life as a Psych[ot]ic 04-12-09.a
I awoke today to the sound of grinding machinery. Rolling over on my floormat, I saw dongs. Blinking the sleep out of my eyes, I realize they were not in fact…