Noir: Recipe: Goon Repellent
1 cup cayenne pepper 1 cup wasabi 1 cup tomato paste Tabasco sauce In a large mortar, combine the solid ingredients. Work them together with the pestle, slowly…
Noir: Attack Waiter
In my best Snooty Waiter voice, I address the two armed men. “You, sir; and you. I’m sorry to tell you that you must leave immediately. You’ll find our…
Noir: The Sunshine Comes Indoors
I snatched the sheet from the jaws of the Remington, and headed for the Boss’s office. He was there, as ever: a hoary old toad squatting in a yellow pool of…
Noir: Please Don't Be Seated
When am I going to have time to think about Vincenzo’s money? Not yet. “Mrs. Otellio,” I say. “I’m sorry to tell you there has been a mistake with your…
Noir: To The Choir
Look at Vincenzo; so busy with his fine, failing club. Was last night a dream? He doesn’t look burglarized or betrayed. But he is both, and he is also a third…
Noir: Intruder in the Dark
I checked the bolt on the flat’s entrance door. I turned out all of the lights in the apartment and returned to the living room couch. Again with my gun at…
Noir: Cleanup Time
The dried bloody wad of hair on the back of my head had to be remedied. I rose and crossed to the back office and flipped the switch on my private bathroom…
Noir: Contemplation
I stumbled over to my massive leather chair behind my desk and sat. This is where it all began. In just 30 hours my whole empire had crumbled - or had it?!…
Noir: Dropout
Traffic growls and hisses from the darkness outside. Inside, a telephone dial zips and purrs a few times. A woman’s voice says, “You said I could call any…
Noir: Closing Time
The crates are all gone. I have a vague impression of hands grabbing cans and bottles. Were they my hands? I sweep the loading dock and my side of the…
Noir: Nothing to See Here
A raise, in these times! Vincenzo must love me; Maryanne, not so much. But, more money later isn’t doing me a damn bit of good right now. Every muscle is…
Noir: Sent to the Office
Mr. D. just sat there. I could see well oiled gears turning in his head. He stared straight out toward the stage and the band. The music, which had been…
Noir: Going Up
The elevator’s rise spawns a germ of nausea in my gut. “You will mind your own business,” Maryanne orders through clenched teeth. That helps. I goad her again…
Noir: My Life as a Goose
Frankly, I was lucky the waiter’s jacket fit, and over my holster even. Against all odds, fate favored me to intercept a delivery. Thus, I had politely…
Noir: Mr. D.'s Neighborhood (Part 2)
DiSibio continued to speak. “Vincenzo, you do not have this ability, outside this club, but inside, you are wonderful. I will now take over this problem you…
Noir: Mr. D.'s Neighborhood (Part 1)
Alberto DiSibio was a stout man in his early sixties. His balding head and leathery face gave away his age. His impeccable appearance gave away his station…
Noir: Thy Rod
Maryanne, her suitcase broadcasting her split with Vincenzo, steps up to the podium. Smiling no more than she needs to, she says, “I’ll have Table 21, please.”…
Noir: Copy
_“Shaw Lambone, New Wroxeter, Nov 18 - Guests at an exclusive city restaurant and nightclub had their evening disturbed when violence erupted in the dining…
Noir: Squeezing a Watermelon Through a Garden Hose
I was past the point of fearing Mr. D. I was still smarting from the encounter with Crumpled Suit, and my pride was wounded worse. Maryanne was gone, everyone…
Noir: The Unexpected Phone Call
I figured I’d be fairly safe at home. Except for Tugger, I hadn’t seen anyone at the club who knew who I was. Nevertheless, I lay down on the living room couch…