Math is Out to Get Me

2 plus 2 is...

Gah! Idiot numbers, always chasing me around. Yeah I memorized my times tables but that was in fourth grade! *Fourth.* I know enough to get by. Can't that _puh-lees_ be enough???

Sitting in the passenger seat, counting off the time between when we pass a road that turns off until we pass the next one,

Sitting at a red light counting out the time until it changes,

I don't even like numbers! I'm not even any good at math!!! So WHY do the digits keep FOLLOWING ME??!!?

YES, I am getting paranoid. I have every reason to be freaking out. The numbers are going to kill me. They will never leave me alone!

Oh no, here come three and seven. (I always thought they made a lovely pair.) Gah! Five and nine have got the back!! Two and thirteen close in from the sides!!! (Two and thirteen? What are _they_ doing together? No, no, no, no.)

Here they come. They are almost on me. I have... eleven seconds left to live. That's 11... 10... 9... 8... 7... 6... 5... 4.... 3... 2 (plus 2 is...) 1...

*dead.*