What the Hell is this?!

They heard a noise. Someone was coming upstairs. "You said your wife was out of town," she said, almost emotionless. "She is.... I think." he said, struggling to put his pants on before his wife walked into the room. The door opened. His wife dropped her purse on the floor, mouth agape. "What the _hell_ is this?!" she screamed. "Honey!" he scrambled to come up with a response, "You... you wouldn't understand. Nobody understands...." "I- I love him." said the toaster, tears forming in her buttons.