Proctology, c. 2357

"How was your vacation in the Horsehead Nebula?"

"It was pretty good until I caught Double Ebola."

"That sounds unpleasant."

"Yeah. The only symptom to speak of is hyperdiarrhea."

"Hyperdiarrhea."

"It's like regular diarrhea, except a small wormhole forms in your rectum. Runny shit gets sent all over the universe."

"Ugh. So, you saw a doctor?"

"I did. It turns out, the treatment involves a particle accelerator."

"Ouch."

"Also, I owe forty-three million dollars to CERN."