A VERY SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM BILLY MAYS

"Hi there, everybody! I'm Billy Mays the 34953rd, and welcome to the Billy Mays International Billy Network! It's a beautiful day here is Los Billangelas, Janumays the 15th, in the Year of Our Billy 2059!" "That's right, Billy! It's just b-e-a-utiful here in BM Studios! I'm Billy Mays the 34928th, and I just wanna say: Thanks to all you viewers who've made this country of USBM such a success. Just yesterday, China has finally joined our republic! Let's have a big round of applause for China!" "That's what we like to hear, right, Billy? Cooperation! Cooperation and teamwork." "Aren't they the same thing, Billy?" "Oh, shucks, Billy! I guess I need to go back to Billementary School!" *wink* "Anyways, folks, we've got a VERY, VERY special guest here with us today...the one, the only- BILLY MAYS!!!!!!" "HI EVERYBODY, I'M BILLY MAYS!" *wild applause* "I LOVE YOU ALL, TOO. I'M HERE TODAY TO PITCH A PRODUCT THAT'S GONNA BLOW YOUR MINDS- LITERALLY! THIS HERE IS THE PATENTED BILLY MAYS BRAND MIND CONTROL DEVICE-"