Bickering Battleaxes

Yeah, I ate a whole pizza, TO MY FACE, I knew you were counting slices! You’re priceless. Oh, no, go ahead, you said, I’m on a highfalutin gluten free diet, why, I couldn’t possibly eat bread. Join me on my pedestal of piety. Become a member of my trendy society, meat head!

Now look at you-- Picking cheese from an empty box! Fishing for my sympathies. Please! I’ma sleep like a pile of rocks!

I’m too full, and happy, for you to emotionally trap me. Not a sniffle, sadly.

(#%!&*@!)

Well, I feel beautiful! HEY, we’ve got that humongous vat of humus-- EAT THAT!

(you're a losah)

Well yousa supastah ain't no quickah thigh thickenah than a Snickah's ice cream bah... Here's one, mmm, want some?

(!$#@!%*&#!)

Now, now, don’t get snippy.

(!#@%*&!)

I don’t care. NUT UP! Spoon yourself some Skippy. HEY, don’t hit me! Ok, ok.

Where are my car keys?

Jeez,

how many Ben and Jerry’s?