Christmas time

When the lights twinkle and excitement thickens the air. Laughter, anticipation, joy, innocence. Behind the children singing in their mother-made costumes. You're showing me what it's like to be adult. You teach me 'love'. Painful, bitter, sordid love.

Telling stories of a son born of god. I pray to this heavenly father but it seems I am abandoned. Left in the dark corners of my mind. Only me and the ghost left of you.

Now the lights don't quite twinkle the same and the air is tainted. I am a shell void of laughter, anticipation and joy. You ripped my innocence from me during the celebration of a man who died for sin. Perhaps my soul had been forgotten.

Perhaps I was never supposed to be saved.