Rekempt

My hair's a tangled, icky mess, My beard grows all askew. My shirt's untucked; my frilly dress Has coffee-stains...a few.

I need to wash and brush my stuff My body I must cleanse! For if I don't, Inspector Dan Will spy dirt with his lens

And wallop me till kingdom come His will be done on me. And so I'll take a bath: my first Since 1983!

Though I do mind his interfer- Ence, I cannot blame Dan. He only wants to do his job; I'll help him, if I can.

And with the help of Mrs Pearce (To Shaw's play I allude), I'll burn these clothes and scrub real fierce; There's no need to be rude.

So, soon I'll be presentable! Inspector Dan, hang on! My unkempt guise I now shall doff, before I cut the lawn.