Been a while

It itches. That's the best I can describe it. I haven't cut it in YEARS. But today...it's almost as if it WANTS me to cut. What the fuck?! It's like I MISS IT!???????????? But, I'm so far beyond that. but the itch that fucking insistent you must do this or else (or else what who the hell knows) itch!!!!! I look at my wrist. it looks odd without cuts I look at my belly...same thing I look at my neck...

I think rationally (or so I hope) and these actions are just not an option

but the f u c k i n g I T C H!

and the NNNNEEEEEEEDDDDDDD to see the blood.

It's as elemental as eating or taking a piss.

I won't do it. But it's pretty annoyingly insistent. grrr.