I Really REALLY Hate Myself (Superhero Black Hole, part 111)

Dear Reader: If you're one of those annoying people who predicted this twist was coming a zillion chapters ago, would it have killed you to tell me that twist was coming so I could've been _prepared_ for it? 'Cause when it actually happened to me, I very nearly collapsed right there and then. Thankfully, the couch was behind me as I fell.

It was then I regained the capacity for speech.

"YOU _FUCKER_, AL! You genuine, honest-to-god ASSHOLE!"

Zoe stood up and came over to me. "Calm down, dude..."

"'CALM DOWN'?! I've just been told by some strange, mostly mechanical guy from the Future that multiple versions of _Me_ have knowingly conspired against _me_ Me to put me in a universe that I have since spent innumerable minutes and hours and days and weeks and years and _decades_ and _milleniums_ walking around in, never knowing that it's not the universe that I come from! Isn't that about the size of it, Al?!"

Unfazed, Al stated his catchphrase: "Correct."

So, in a strop, I threw a nearby mug at Al's face...