The Fountain of Controversy

_Thank you for joining us. My guest today is Olivia Musser, CEO of Sandlot Ventures. Welcome to the show Mrs, Musser._

The pleasure is mine Laurie.

_This week your company announced a new breakthrough. Something people are calling 'the fountain of youth' tell us about that._

Sadly that's our overzealous PR department at work. In reality the methods we've discovered have greatly slowed the rate of cellular reproduction called mitosis. This causes your cells to last longer causing you to last longer.

_But it wont keep you young forever or make you immortal?_

I'm afraid not.

_Darn. Surely you have heard what commenters have said. That this will only worsen the over population and Social Security problems._

Mr. Kong, Those are valid complaints and we will be responsible with it's decisions. We're not opening this to the general public for years and then there will be cost restrictions and filtering to limit how many can use our methods.

_So Sandlot Ventures will decide who gets to be bicentenarians?_