Of Course, He Always Had Pale Skin

"Bloody Twilight. Y'know, I really don't like the way Stephanie Meyer dicked about with the vampire mythos. Vampires don't _sparkle._"

"Yeah. And they're not vegetarian."

"And they don't play baseball."

"And they don't drink blood."

"No, that one _is_ vampires."

"No it isn't. I mean, _yeuch._ Won't catch _me_ drinking it."

"Well, no. You're not a vampire."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

"I am."

"Since when?"

"Since three months ago. I filled out an ad in the paper, popped in a cheque for £25, and now I'm a vampire."

"You're having me on. You've been outside since then. In daylight and everything."

"Vampires don't get hurt my sunlight, Jeff. That's just anti-vampire propaganda spread by the media."

"And you don't drink blood?"

"Nah. It's not good for you, blood."

"So... what _can_ vampires do?"

"Well the ad was a bit vague on that point."

"I see."

"Come to think of it, it didn't really go into detail. It just said 'Become a vampire, £25.' I think I've been had."

"I think you're right, there."