Real Estate With Bite

As hooded figures ushered her into the grand chamber, Miss Fiona Stoker knew that she was in for it this time - she was a failed realtor.

The cavernous space was dark save for the dim light given out by the blood red candles winking from shadowy alcoves. It was cold too, though it was a warm day outside - the natural world knew better than to interfere with this place.

"I trust the news is good _this time_, Miss Stoker?"

Fiona spun round to face the direction of the mysterious voice, though it had seemed to come from all around - resonating from the very walls.

"Master, you see, the problem is, the house isn't exactly - how do I put it - _appealing_, to the average buyer. It's a little... Creepy?"

"Creepy! _Creepy_! You are a realtor! It is your job to convince people it is an _unpolished gem_! An example of _structural magnificence_! Not _creepy_!"

"Master, I'll try --"

At this point, Fiona was rudely interrupted as two gleaming fangs enter her jugular vein.

Vampires are awfully impatient clients.