Thirty-Six Times

I ought to be sorry that I let the phone ring thirty six times and let you leave thirty six messages and I really should be sorry that I didn't listen to any of them

and I should probably be sorry that when you came over I pretended I wasn't home turned off all the lights even when my dog barked to tell me you were outside

I should be sorry that I was watching TV that night that I really like that show and couldn't be bothered when mom said you'd called and I never called you back

I could say sorry for the days I brushed you off even though I really did need to study for that French final I could have sat by you sorry I ripped up the note you wrote I didn't mean for you to see

or sorry I still haven't read your letter the one with my name on the front in loopy cursive sorry I let the phone ring all those times and let you leave all those messages

but I'm not sorry even though you were my friend once upon a time I can't take care of you and this whole life thing is a whole lot easier without you.